Soundtrack of My Life

Simply put, my life has been complicated. But things are changing, I'm changing. I'm a mother, a lover, a friend. I'm a daughter, a sister. Above anything else I am me, Kirby Elaine.

This blog is everything in my life and the love in it. So read about my high and lows and get to know me in and out. This is the honest uncensored me.

Copyright © 2011 Kirby Elaine Allen. All rights reserved.
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“There is no such thing as fantasy unrelated to reality.”
Aspire to awesomeness.


“There is no such thing as fantasy unrelated to reality.”

Aspire to awesomeness.

Photo 1: a self portrait

I have been jamming hard and non-stop to Gotye this past week. For all of my music friends who didn’t tell me about him…SHAME ON YOU. So I have been thinking about my next career move, I’m in AmeriCorps and my year of service is up in a few months. I have narrowed it down to kids or music. I would love to teach or work with with children in an afterschool program. And then there is music. What I wouldn’t give to be able to photograph musicians for a living. I would love to do that.

But I’m feeling out job applications and I’m going to take what I can get :/

Radio Monday meant the release of John Mayer’s Shadow Days. And for a John Mayer fan it’s kind of a big deal. The 2010 high was definitely coming down and like many I wondered if he was doing well. Shadow Days is a War of My Life type track, “it’s like a horoscope, designed to be spot on”. It struck me and struck me hard. I sat and listened to it in its entirety and the lyrics were pretty raw.

I thing it is because I too am at the point where I am realizing that I’m not a bad person. I have made mistakes. My affair was the biggest mistake I have ever made and coming off of that has been an emotional roller coaster for me. But now I am looking forward and trying to find the pure happiness I know exists in love with someone.


Radio Monday

The anticipation is killing me. This is going to be a great single and Born & Raised will be an amazing album.

I just got this tattoo. It certainly wasn’t an impulsive decision. I marinated on it for a long while. So listen to this story about the meaning behind this simple tattoo.

I knew what love was before I had ever experienced it. He was beautiful! He could act, dance, sing, and had a beautiful smile. I was young, not even 9 years old. I remember watching his movies with my mom and sister, we’d have to cover our eyes on some parts back then because after all he was the “love man”.

It was Dirty Dancing that I can’t get enough of. I think because of him I have such high expectations of love, the real life examples I’ve been shown made me thing that love was an arrangement, a settlement. Patrick starred in fairy tales on the big screen.

And one day while watching television a breaking news alert came across the screen, “Actor Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer”. My heart broke! I remember holding myself tight, crying and rocking back and forth on the sofa. I was immediately in mourning. I cant talk about him without crying, my eyes are running tears down my face as I write this. PATRICK SWAYZE.

It was a death sentence but Patrick fought. Fought for more time with Lisa. He even continued acting on The Beast but I couldn’t watch, he was wasting away come mid-season.

Even when it seemed like my sister and I had nothing in common we always had him. I think everyone who watches his movies imagines romance Swayze style, the “incomplete without you” love. It’s what everyone wants, it’s want I hope for.

So I love Patrick Swayze. P.S. I love you.

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Here’s a clip of the first single off Born and Raised, called “Shadow Days.” I’m excited to share the first bit of sound from the album… Been looking forward to a post like this since October 14, 2010, the first day I started writing this group of songs. Enjoy.

Never in a million years would I have imagined we’d have this kind of relationship I would have with my sister. In 2001 she enlisted in the Air Force and left home. So there I was on my own at 13 my sited hundreds of miles away. But then, we weren’t close. As my sister I missed her. It wasn’t until 9/11 that I mourned her decision to enlist. It scarred me.

Years passed. We talked on the phone, she visited home but all in all we existed without eachother. I experienced everything without dyer watchful eye, without her mindful advice. I fell in love and out. Life happened for me. I graduated high school and started college. It wasn’t until 2006 that she’d come home for a while. And even then our bond was not very strong. After the birth of her daughter she went back home out of state.

So there I was existing again. I went on to get pregnant and have my daughter. We existed hundreds of miles apart doing this thing we would come to realize is so much easier together, rearing little girls. I began writing this watching our girls play. And today we aren’t doing it alone. Today we exist here just 15 minutes apart,though from our phone calls you’d swear we hadn’t seen eachother in ages.

Our bond is not what it was 10 years ago, it’s 100 times stronger. My sister is my best friend and I love her. So glad she’s back home.